Two mornings a week, I like to ride my bike at sunrise. I choose sunrise because fewer cars are on the road at that time of day, and it’s also a beautiful time to cycle. As summer ends and the days get shorter, riding my bike on weekday mornings gets more challenging. By fall, sunrise is close to 7:20 am, and more people are driving to school and work.
As I headed out last Tuesday, I decided to go the opposite direction and try a different part of the neighborhood. I quickly discovered that the pavement was terrible for a bike ride. I was jostled constantly. After about a mile, I turned around, headed back the way I’d come, and debated returning to my original route. I was frustrated that I lost time riding on what turned out to be a bad route.
I was worried about the time this loop would add to my ride and that a road towards the end of my normal route would now be busier than usual. I decided to ride the first half of my normal route and then circle back to avoid the busier roads. My weekday ride isn’t that long, and, even with the loop in the beginning, this change would make it shorter than normal.
I was frustrated with myself for trying something that didn’t work out. I grumbled to myself about the “lost” time. And then I realized – I gave it a shot.
I’ve struggled with negative self-talk for years. I’m trying to recognize when I use it, stop to reassess, and come to an accurate response rather than one that puts me down. Thinking, “I gave it a shot”, sounds so simple, but for me it was a BIG step. I recognized the negative self-talk and reframed it quicker than I had in the past. I was excited to see that I was making progress.
As I continued to ride, I thought about the events of my ride. I tried something new. Sometimes, trying something new goes well, but there can also be things we don’t expect. Trying something new is never wrong. Maybe it doesn’t work out how we hoped, but even if we misstep, we learn something new.
I also realized when trying something new, it helps to form at least something of a plan. Last summer, I trained to run a half marathon with my sister. As the training runs grew longer and the days grew warmer, I decided I needed to start running an hour before dawn so I could finish before it was too warm for me. I usually wait for the sun to come up before I start to run. I wanted to ensure I’d be safe on my route an hour earlier, so one day, I drove my route at 5 am to see how the roads were that time of day. I ended up making a slight change to my route.
There aren’t many streetlights where I run, so I bought lights that would clip on my waist to illuminate the road in front of me without holding a flashlight. I also shared my location with a friend and told her when I would start running and when I expected to be back. It worked out well.
As I thought about these two experiences, I saw the value in thinking ahead and planning where I can. Sometimes, trying something new is unexpected. Even if I don’t have time to plan ahead, I can take a deep breath and assess the situation and my options before proceeding. If it goes well, I need to recognize that. And if it doesn’t, rather than talk negatively to myself, I need to remember I tried, then pause to reflect on what didn’t go well and what I can do differently the next time.
Trying new things and taking the time to learn from the experience can be a great way to build self-confidence and learn to trust ourselves. Both are valuable when recovering from the side effects of a harmful relationship.
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